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I would like to think that I am and have been open to dating women from all different cultural and racial backgrounds.However, as the popular saying goes, once I did go black, it seems as if, at least lately, it has been hard for me to go back.While it is differences that create passion, it is similar values that create unity.

If you’re a black woman, as I am, or an Asian man, Ok Cupid data shows that you’re likely to receive fewer matches and messages. It became glaringly obvious that I was getting far fewer matches and messages while online dating than my non-black friends.

The people who design and create these sites and tools are working to address this disparity in user experience, but their attempts and failures show just how deeply ingrained racism is in our society.

A few clicks put online dating in the rear-view mirror. Regardless of the type of app or site, online dating works better for some than others — a lot better, in fact.

Chief among them was that I did not want to participate in platforms where users are given tools to discriminate based on race.

I have heard many reasons for why white men find black women attractive, for example, black women have confidence and tenacity, their undeniable achievements in face of adversity has made black women like diamonds in the rough, or that black women have beautiful lips, curves, wonderful skin, and other attractive physical features, or finally that black women are very sexual.

While I believe that many of those stereotypes might often be true and probably contribute to white men wanting to date black women, I think those reasons fail to address the most fundamental reason, which is simply that differences attract.

I have been reading many interesting articles and some books attempting to probe into some of the reasons why more and more white men are beginning to date black women, why others still don't, and why some may still be oppose to it. As a white man dating black women, I am going to give you my perspective on this topic.

As a clarification, I want to make it clear that I don't try, at least not consciously, to limit myself to dating or solely pursuing black women.

So if it is differences that attract, why many white men are still not dating black women? Some of those reasons are that many white men still deem black women inferior to white women or black race inferior to white race, in many parts of the world it is still not socially acceptable for a white man to date a black woman, many white men are still scared to socially admit that they are attracted to black women, many white men do not want to have black children (and thus won't even consider dating a black woman), many white men are scared of how others think of them dating a black woman, other white men simply prefer white women or women from another race, and yet other white men may simply not have access to dating black women even if they wanted to.

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